


Our post-traumatic love disorders

by eyedene



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2789591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyedene/pseuds/eyedene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas Merton once wrote « Peace demands the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war. » Heroes who have fought in the Fourth Shinobi War are now left with a new battle to fight : a battle for survival. But the challenge in surviving after a war isn’t merely about how to cope with the trauma, the mourning, the new possibilities. It resides in the ability to deal with personal hardships while staying aware of the forces conspiring against the one thing the heroes risked their life for : hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scar Tissue

Naruto and Sasuke woke up in the darkness of a small room, the smell of which indicated that they were not in a hospital.

« Dobe ? » Sasuke’s voice came out unexpectedly rogue. His mouth and throat were dry and his body felt soar. How many had he been asleep for ?

« Sas’ke » Naruto finally replied. He was incapable of moving. The blonde ninja also realized how weak his friend’s chakra felt.A few seconds passed without any of them saying anything.

Misguided by his phantom limb, Naruto tried to stand up until the realization that his right arm was missing hit him. He heavily sighed and fell back into the uncomfortable mattress he was lying in. What nightmare had he woken into ?

« I’m never going to be an Hokage now » he whispered. Despite the darkness, Sasuke could very well imagine a weak smile drawn on his friend’s lips marking the irony in his tone.

« I’ll take your spot then » the dark-haired ninja replied sarcastically.

« How can either of pretend to this role if we’re missing an arm ? » Naruto defeatedly protested.

A little snore interrupted the premisses of this small quarrel. Both came to alert, trying to perceive the chakra of the other person in the room.

« Sakura-chan » the blond whispered, almost reassured.

They heard sudden movement, shifting,a low-voice mumbling, someone was difficultly making its way through the room’s darkness. The curtains were drawn and in a blink of an eye, the space was flooded with the bright light of the afternoon sun. As their surroundings became clear, they realized that they had been put at rest in what looked like a modest inn’s room. Sasuke glimpsed at Sakura who was standing by the curtain, rubbing her eyes while yawning. He didn’t know how long they had been asleep for, but from her peaky looks and her thin silhouette, he could see that she had scrambled for days.

« Welcome back » she murmured while still adjusting to the brightness of the room.

«  How long have we been sleeping ? » Sasuke asked.

She frowned. It was unusual for him to be so talkative, or even make inquiries at all. She turned around looking evasively out the window. The landscape hadn’t changed much since the end of the war, since she had placed her two best friends in a room after spending hours operating on them. She sighed at the sight of the devastated world laid in front of her. It wasn’t merely the horror of the unrecognizable landscape that frightened her, but rather her unflappable lack of distraught that this sight caused in her. She didn’t know what day it was, nor how long her friends had laid here unconscious while she was running from room to room trying to stabilize as many patients as her two hands allowed her to. For the first time, it hadn’t made her feel better to save lives. She hadn’t found any relief because she knew that there was more to come, more lives to be saved, like the world had lost its ability to heal itself. She also knew that many lives hadn’t been saved, that some lives could never be. During this blurry amount of days filled with the drudgery of saving lives, Sakura only felt as though the war was a tree hiding the forest that the recovery would be. She didn’t how long the boys had been sleeping, but from the remaining amount of injuries to be mended, it clearly didn’t feel long enough.

-Not so long, she whispered bitterly.

Even if they had known the location of the inn, they probably couldn’t have recognized it. It seemed like the war’s destruction had reached every inch of land they once travelled into.

\- We’re in the outskirts of the Fire country, we needed an inn that was large enough to treat the patients that needed the most care and couldn’t be transferred too soon. Tsunade-sama has a few things to deal with here that I need to help her with, Sakura pursued evasively with her forehead resting on the window. She turned to the boys who were holding on to her every words. « But if you guys are up for it, there are convoys bringing back injured to the village »

« We can help » Naruto protested while making another attempt at getting out of bed painfully.

« What are you doing ? » Sakura asked

« Both Sasuke and I are fine now, we can vacant those beds for those in needs and start help with the logistics of the transfer back to the Leaf »

« Hn » the dark-haired ninja agreed while imitating his peer and getting up.

« You guys are nowhere near recovery. Either you stay in bed or you take the convoy, there’s nothing left for you guys to do here »

« Sakura ! », Naruto interrupted. « Saving lives is our mission too you know, we don’t only fight the bad guys for the thrill to it. »

« Maybe we do », Sasuke rectified with irony

Both the blonde and the pinkette turned to him with a frown, and he simply shrugged. Something about his sudden break from silence felt somewhat uncomfortable. Naruto and Sakura had almost forgot what they’d fought for so many years : the return of their friend. It almost felt surreal that they finally succeed.

« It’s not about saving lives anymore » Sakura interrupted them. « Most of the patients have been transferred to Konoha hospital. I’ve done most of the important surgeries already, I’m here to help Tsunade with the reports of those we couldn’t save. There still are some bodies we’re trying to uncover from the field before the ceremony. If you want to help fine, but don’t overdo it. »

« Maybe you should take your own advice sometimes » Sasuke spat back

If it had been her twelve years old self, Sakura would have been unable to grasp the care in his phrase. She couldn’t have decipher this bitterness into what is really was : concern. She looked at him, a bit taken aback and gave him a weak smile, trying not to blush although she was certain her skin had turned as pink as her hair. He was back.

She decided to give them some privacy and told them she would see them later. Before exiting the room she turned around, observing the two boys she had grown to love and had looked up to. They were now two young men she was watching over. The irony of their evolution made her smile innerly. This was relief. Her relief, the certainty that from now on, things would be okay for the three of them. They were done fighting. The war was behind them. It just hadn’t felt as such before because her friends were still in a coma and she had been busy fighting against death, busy preventing the casualties number to go any higher than it already had.

« What’s wrong Sakura-chan ? » Naruto asked, while he was wincing and gesturing to wear a T-shirt on.

She retraced her steps and approached Naruto to tug gently on the cloth. When his face reappeared, with the goofy smile he always had, despite all the bruises that his face was covered with, her eyes watered into the ocean tears she had been holding back ever since they both fell into a post-operative coma.

« I’m just really happy you’re okay » her voice was trembling, and she didn’t have it in her to cry in front of Sasuke again. Instead, she abruptly left the room, almost running away.

Naruto followed Sasuke’s glance and could notice how it was filled with concern, and perhaps with guilt too. Sasuke blinked a little and resigned to silently walk to the bathroom. Once he found himself alone, he realized how more comfortable he suddenly felt. He had been alone most of his life. Alone in his revenge against his brother, alone in his vendetta against Konoha. But he was no longer alone. The war had opened the world to him. It finally hit him how Naruto and Sakura had grown so close. It struck him even more how excluded their proximity made him feel. While he was in the shower, the hot water running through the scars of the last battle he couldn’t but help but realizing the delicateness of Sakura’s touch that materialized in every scar. From the numbness he felt after he finally stood up, he could tell how damaging the last fight had been for his body, but the precision in the scars and the mere fact that he was still alive proved how much of a talented kunoichi Sakura had grown out to be. Sasuke rubbed his face under the hot water, chasing away the thoughts of her proximity with Naruto. The war was over now and somehow so was his revenge against the world. The world he had grown to hate after his brother’s demise was now in pieces. It was possible that no such endangering threats as the one they had known through the war would come their way in their lifetime. It suddenly hit him that a chapter had literally ended. His loneliness was over and he was now overwhelmed by the unknown of the coming future. In the midst of all this confusion and the obvious existential crisis that was slowly building in him while he was realizing the completeness of his initial life mission, Sakura’s voice came running through his head. « Im just really happy you’re okay ». Was it possible that she had meant it for him too ?

 

The rest of the day went by, slowly for the three members of Team seven. Sakura found herself confined in an office with missing people reports to fill and matching some of those reports with death certificate with Tsunade and Shizune. Sasuke and Naruto on the other hand spent their day on the shattered battlefield, picking up limbs or corpses. Most of the bodies had been recovered already, what was left on the field were just mere crumbles of the war’s passage, minimal proves that a war had been fought and that people had died. They met over dinner at the inn’s canteen. Sakura was quietly eating alone at a table, trying to stay awake while eating her Butajiru stew. The canteen suddenly got quiet as the two young men made their entrance, she lifted her head from her bowl and found Sasuke and Naruto both panting, and supporting each other, limping towards the kunoichi.

« I thought you were meant to take this easy » she said while pointing at their T-shirts that showed blood marks proving that the scar tissue had reopened.  
Sorry » Naruto winced while sitting down. « You haven’t taken your own advice either » he however mumbled while pointing the fingers of the kunoichi which showed signs of bleeding from excessive holding of a pen.  
I want to leave soon. It shouldn’t be long until the funeral by now. »

It wasn’t their first funeral and probably wouldn’t be their last, but this funeral was more than a simple burial of loved ones. It marked an end and a new beginning. It was among the many symbols that a war had happened and made its way through their lives with a signature that had become indelible.

Naruto looked down at his bowl of ramen, the meal that used to make him always joyful. The ramen were fine but it didn’t feel right. Their first meal together should have been a dinner in Konoha with Kakashi like he had always envisioned their reunion. He looked back up determined. They needed to return home.

« Naruto, I have stuff to finish here. I can’t just leave. »

« Sakura, you’re killing yourself and I can see it. Stop doing this to yourself. You’re a medic-nin, not Tsunade’s administrative assistant. That’s Shizune’s job. Your job right now is to be with your friends. Sasuke is back now and we lost people too. It’s okay to grieve and be happy at the same time. » Naruto said in his most serious tone, the one he’d usually take in the battlefield. The one he confronted Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, Pain, Tobi and Madara with. This was Naruto being a ninja. This was expressing his nindo.

Sakura looked at Sasuke, interrogatively. He didn’t expect her to expect any additional thing from him. He shrugged and silently acquiesced. Sakura grumbled, annoyed at the lack of support from her returned-from-exile team member.

« I’ll see how early I can leave »

 

Early turned out to be, as Naruto expected, the next day. Tsunade dismissed Sakura in the morning as she would also be leaving the inn with an ANBU team the following day. The three members decided to leave after lunch, after Sakura had made it very clear that she would leave if the boys would comply to her medical recommendations. They travelled fast-paced through the dismantled wood of the Fire country. Each of them silently wondering how far the war’s destruction had stretched.

After they had taken camp and eaten, Sakura was washing the dishes by the camp fire. The boys were sound asleep, or so she thought, until Sasuke’s shadow appeared hollowing in front of her.  
« You should really rest. »

« You should really take your own advice. »

« I’m fine » she persistently retorted.

« So am I » he wittily replied while grabbing a bowl she had washed and a rag to wipe the items she was cleaning. 

While they were kneeled by the small basin of water, they both acknowledged that this was the closest they had ever been since the night he left her on a bench. It felt like it had been ages that they weren’t trying to kill each other.

« You had multiple ribs fractured, a part of your left arm literally exploded, your kneecaps were dislocated, you broke a cheekbone, suffered from internal bleeding, your ear-drums were pierced in the last blast and now one quarter of your body is covered in scar tissue. You are not fine. » she enumerated

« Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue »  
She frowned at him and sighed heavily. His metaphor took her aback. Was he implying that the war hadn’t weakened him ? Was he implying that the war had made him less sensitive, if that was ever possible ? She was done with the dishes and resigned on solving a new Uchiha riddle but before she could stand up, he held her with his remaining arm.

« Sakura »  
« What ? » she retorted, vindictively turning her glance to him. It was scornful.

It startled him and he almost asked her what he had done to upset her so much in one day, but refrained from sounding inconsiderate and oblivious. The war was over. Only hurt, loss and unspecified things remained. The animosity between them would be a hard habit to break.

« I’m sorry »

« You’ve already said that » she replied with less anger while standing up and helping him doing so

« I fainted a little while after. »  
She looked back at him «  What are you sorry about ? » was written all over her emerald glance in which the flames of the dying fire behind them were dancing.

« The life that I chose » he later on added after a few seconds of a silent exchange of glance.

« That doesn’t have anything to do with me. » she sighed while turning to him and unwrapping her sleeping bag

« It still affected you in a way that’s intangible. »

She clung on to the cloth of the bag. Naruto was asleep right beside them and he needed to rest. She had spent her morning running administrative duties, her lunch preparing logistics for an exhausting journey and the rest of her day running through a destroyed forest. She was barely keeping her eyes open so even if she had dug deep inside her chakra reserves, she wouldn’t have found the strength to fight with him, to shout at him, to let him know how she felt. She felt frustrated, angry, confused. She needed to tell him how things went for her, how he ruined her teenage years by stealing her innocence on the day of his departure. She needed to tell him that spending days operating on almost dead bodies, his included, after spending two days in one of the most historic fights of Ninja history had left her scarred for life, and yes her scar tissue was stronger. She wanted to tell him that he had no control in who she turned out to be, although that was only half-truth. She wanted to tell him that she felt stronger than ever and that for the first time, this strength didn’t have anything to do with what she felt like she needed to prove him. She wanted to tell him that she was moving on, or at least she had decided that she would, because she had spent half of her life dedicating her time to a man who had never cared for anything but himself and she deserved better. Sakura Haruno had never lost a relative, never lost a close friend, but she had lost herself over a man, and she swore never to lose that person again. She turned to him, and mimicked the same punch-deserving smirk he had given her a few moments earlier.

« I’m fine »

Of course, he knew she wasn’t. He knew that there was a river of unspoken words that had travelled through her mind as she had gathered her thoughts before this last phrase. But Sakura wasn’t as forgiving as Naruto, because she hurt more, because she felt more, and if there had ever been a device translating Sakura’s language, Sasuke was convinced that she had very well just told him to fuck off because, to her, he had long lost the privilege of apologizing and feeling concerned.


	2. Chrysanthemums, Cigarettes and Pearls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Seven reunites with the village but they soon realize that they are the only ones who got off the war with something to rejoice about : their friends have suffered great loss and they must reluctantly put the joy of being back together aside.

Sakura waited for them outside Sasuke’s apartment, in which Naruto had been staying ever since they had gotten back to Konoha to « monitor the Uchiha’s return » as he put in his own words. She thought of the last time she had to wear the black funeral suit that was to be worn at a ninja’s funeral as Naruto walked out of the apartment first. It was one of their last moments as a team though she didn’t know it back then. It stroke her how big Sasuke had gotten once the Uchiha stepped out of his apartment with Naruto. Sasuke discretely contemplated her body too. She turned out beautiful, in spite of her pink hair and although the war had made her thinner and perhaps more fragile-looking. He was astonished by the woman standing in front of them. They walked side by side but silently, they hadn’t spoken since the night at the camp.

Due to the amount of casualties, the village and Kakashi, as a new hokage, agreed on erecting a symbolic tomb for all ninjas who fought the war and lost their lives. As they got closer to the place, a large mass of black-wearing ninjas appeared in front of their eyes. Sakura turned towards them, and greeted them. She needed to support her friends as Naruto told her. Now, was not the time to deal with what this war meant for the former team seven, their reunion couldn’t amount the loss of so many. They all knew it. Heavy-hearted, she parted ways with her team members and joined her best friend, Ino Yamanaka, who was barely holding it together since the war had taken away her father. 

She sobbed before falling into pieces in her best friends’ arms. 

Behind the blond stood two guys with stern expression. In their eyes, Sakura could read that they didn’t have it in them to get closer to the stone decorated with the Leaf village symbol. Every step closer to the stone was a step closer to the realization that their three fathers had scarified themselves for the village, a true act of heroism one would say, but a perfectly normal duty for a ninja, as they all knew it was. 

"Our mothers are over there" Shikamaru said while putting a firm hand on Ino’s back. "Let’s go."  
"I can’t" the blonde responded, holding her grip tighter on to her pinkette friend.  
\- Ino, Shikamaru grounded. "Your father didn’t die for you to sob like a little girl, jump from arms to arms. You’re a ninja, you know that wars make casualties. We need to keep composure for our mothers, at least and honor our fathers memories rather than insulting them by acting like children"  
-Shikamaru !, a voice called out from behind them.  
Kurenai stood there holding her son’s hand and her fist on her hip.  
-Ino, come here she said in a motherly tone, reaching out for the kunoichi with her free arm. "Chouji, Sakura, leave him" she ordered.  
They all followed the blonde. Sakura scolded Shikamaru with a last glance of disapproval.  
« We’re all survivors » she simply spat before turning her back on him an advancing towards the stone with Ino and the others.  
She knew his attitude was a simple shield. They had lost their fathers in the same war, in the same moment. True, they didn’t have to take part in the war effort the way he did, because after his father’s demise Shikamaru had become the only strategist the war could use, but that was behind them now. The war was over, and no matter the amount of effort everyone contributed in no longer mattered. They were all survivors, regarded as equals, they had all sacrificed pieces of themselves for this moment: The moment life would matter again. She refused to let anyone ruin that moment for their own good. Shikamaru would have to find another way to mourn than taking it out on Ino or anyone else. 

In the assembly, Naruto found Hinata with her family. The Hyuga clan was a political clan before being a clan of devoted warriors. Even in grief, they had to show their unity, the source of their strength. He exchanged glance with the kunoichi, hoping that she would be happy to see him, also hoping that the feelings she expressed on the battlefield would shine through her opale glance. But he only met a fade figure, who quickly turned her back to him. 

-Give her some time, Kakashi’s voice rose behind him and Sasuke.  
-Sensei  
-Technically now, you’re deem to call me Kakashi-sama,  
« I, -we » he corrected while looking at Sasuke « We really wanted to come to your office to see your new look. » Naruto added in an apologetic tone.

« Team Seven will have it’s reunion, now isn’t the time. Just like you’ve never been closest to your dream Naruto » the ninja added while taping on his hokage cap. « I came to you guys to let you know that a meeting will be held later tonight regarding you, Sasuke. »  
« What do you mean ? » Naruto asked  
« He means they’re going to choose whether to kill me or not » the dark-haired ninja replied in the most matter-of-factly tone. 

Naruto’s eyes widened. He shook his head, but as he boiled to retort something outrageous, Sasuke interrupted him :  
« It’s okay dobe. Now you won’t worry that I may steal your spot as Hokage » 

Kakashi left without any addition to what Sasuke said. Naruto was looking down, saddened by what his friend had just told him. No one could have understood but him that Sasuke had just explained that he knew the consequences of returning to Konoha. He knew people wanted his head on a pike. He knew people wanted the Uchiha clan and his last survivor to become history for good. He couldn’t ignore the death stares that were given to him as he came to pay homage to the people that died in the hand of someone of his own blood, people he had himself swore to execute himself. Sasuke knew very well that a Damocles sword would be hanging above his head as soon as he’d return, it was only a matter of time before someone decided whether to let the sword go loose. Naruto knew that Sasuke knew as soon as Sasuke mentioned his dream of becoming Hokage. It was an unspoken dream of Sasuke’s, a dream that he, the hero, was now so close to achieve even if Kakashi had just taken the position. His time was coming. Sasuke’s would never. He was the criminal, the exiled, the wanted, the pariah who had returned to the war for his own good and nobody else’s. No one in Konoha knew how Sasuke walked out of the war but Naruto. He walked out admitting his defeat, surrendering the hate he had born all those years and finally accepting the possibility of accepting more from life. 

After the service, the team seven lunched in Naruto’s favorite Ramen restaurant. To his disappointment, the three of them barely discussed anything. Sakura was still contemplating the fact that her best friend had lost her father and that despite the amount of lives she felt slipping between her hands, her suffering would never amount or comfort her friends. The road to the future she had imagined after the war suddenly felt miles away. Sasuke was quietly eating his ramen, savoring it as it might be his last. He didn’t dare looking at Sakura, he knew she didn’t want his concern. Perhaps, he thought, her reluctance to let him in was a good thing after all. If he was to die, she wouldn’t suffer as much as if she had welcomed him back into her life like he had initially expected her to. 

« Kakashi said that there would be a meeting tonight. » Naruto finally said, hoping he would get a reaction from the kunoichi  
She tilted her head up, and evasively nodded. « That’s good. We need to keep going forward. »  
« They’re going to talk about Sasuke ! » Naruto blurted out  
« Naruto, not here, not now » Sasuke quietly said as some glances in the restaurant started shifting 

In frustration, Naruto rose and gave Sakura a scornful look. « I thought you wanted this too» he accused her while pointing at their dinner table. He left by slamming Ichiraku’s door. Sakura stared at his bowl. Naruto had never left a half-full bowl of ramen behind him until today. She excused herself and left as well. 

Naruto was long gone by the time Sakura went after him to apologize. He rushed back to the tomb and angry tears had started piling up in his eyes for all the insults he wanted to blurt out to this world which even in a destroyed state still wanted to take his best friend, his brother, away from him. In the meantime he hated the selfish part of him that had insulted Sakura and walked out on their reunion lunch, their first lunch at home as a team. He knew from the start that because of how different their love for their team member was in its essence, their reaction to his return would be different. Naruto fought for Sasuke and Sakura did too as well, but when it came down to choosing between both, Sakura’s choice had always been clear: She would have chosen Naruto in a heartbeat. She had already lost Sasuke and despite her feelings, she was ready to contemplate this loss again rather than being the last survivor of their team. Somewhere along the way, the little girl who once loved a little boy became a resenting young woman with a broken heart. Sakura had outgrown her feelings, while Naruto grew along them. He clung on to his hope for Sasuke’s return even more than he clung on to his dream to become a Hokage. He had never doubted the latter has much as he always doubted his ability to achieve the former. He only wished that Sakura had hung on to her feelings too and not decided to move on. He wished he didn’t feel like the last member of Team Seven believing there could ever be a Team Seven again one day. In the midsts of all the rage, the frustration and the confusion, Naruto turned around looking at all the people who had lost their loves ones in the war. He felt the urge to bark at them, make them realize that they had once opened their hearts to him, the Nine-Tails kid. He was about to say something and people were observing him, until his glance landed on two brown-haired kunoichi. Hinata lifted her head and looked at him with a misunderstanding glance. From the redness of her eyes that were once so opaque, he could tell that Hinata had returned to the tomb after the family’s private ceremony. Her sight soothed him instantly. He slowly approached the kunoichi who was trying to comfort her little sister as they were both sitting on the grass by the tomb. He looked the scenery and realized these were all families from the village, people he had grown up with, that were mourning. And he wasn’t sharing their pain. At this very moment, Naruto was only being a ninja for his team and not for his village. 

« Can I sit here ? » he asked as he reached to Hinata  
She quietly nodded. He sat really close to her and he heard her gasp as his body fell on the ground. He made sure to sit on the side where he would be able to use his arm, it still felt impossible for him that he’d have to learn to live with a limb.  
« Are you okay, Naruto-kun ? I couldn’t visit you before I left for the village. » she explained guilty  
He instantly put his remaining hand on hers, she blushed. He didn’t reply to the question but simply gave her the most determinant smile he could pull in spite of his true feelings. She however didn’t seem convinced. She went back to rubbing her little sister’s back. He could tell that she was fighting really hard not to cry herself. Her lips were trembling, the tip of her nose was getting red.  
« Hey» Naruto gently said as he reached out for her chin so that she would look at him. « Neji was a hero you know » And then in an even softer tone « It’s okay for you to let it go too. I’m here »

Hinata exploded in a sob that sounded too strident to be hers, too heartbreaking to be true. Naruto bit his lip as he felt his own heart jumping out his chest. Without thinking of it, Naruto wrapped his arm around her waste, dragging her closer to him, enveloping Hanabi into this embrace.  
He might have been a hero, he might have been the one that people thanked for putting an end to this war, but he felt like he was powerless when it came to taking away the pain from the girl who loved him. The woman who loved him. Hinata had always been a shy girl that he knew had admiration for him. He had however not ever imagined she could have ever developed such strong feelings towards him. He felt both honored and embarrassed with this situation. Of course, it wasn’t the first time a girl confessed to him but it was clear that Sakura had only told him she loved him because she felt the need to convince herself that she no longer had the feelings she once had for Sasuke. Hinata on the other hand had not only confessed for herself, but also for him because she wanted him to know he was loved. 

« I’m sorry that I couldn’t save him for you » he whispered into her ear  
In this very moment, while holding the girl who had reminded him he was loved in what could have been his final moment, Naruto let go of his anger, he let go of his frustrations. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t Hokage yet, it didn’t matter that the village was plotting against Sasuke, it didn’t matter that Sakura seemed to care too little about this ordeal. What mattered was that he was alive and loved, alive and well. He was still here, while so many, such as Neji, hadn’t had his chance.

 

Shikamaru was smoking afar from the stone, afar from the sobs, the prayers, afar from people acknowledging what a great man his father was or how bravely he had fought. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t pick up smoking again, that this bad habit was a simple way to make the mourning painful in another way. His dad hated it, his mom hated it too, but it somehow reminded him of Asuma-sensei, the first person he had lost, the first person he felt like he had ever failed. Losing his dad hurt just as much, only twice as much, not only because he felt like he had failed his father but he felt like he had failed his mother too, his family, his village by depriving them of a great strategist. He hadn’t planned on picking up a bad habit, Shikamaru was generally a healthy person. This time however, he didn’t have it in him to find apologies for what bad habits he might pick up, for a bad attitude or for his tendency of isolating himself. This was his way to cope, it was going to get as good as it was presently.  
\- Regretting that the war didn’t kill you ? a female voice behind him said  
\- You know I like to take things slow, he said while rising from the bench he was laid on.  
He scooped over to leave the blonde some space to sit beside him on the bench. She had never been much of a smoker, but she still mechanically pulled a cigarette from the pack he handed her.  
\- Do your brothers know ?  
\- That I smoke ?  
He looked at her with an obvious look.  
\- I told them it’d be important if someone from Suna showed up to bid farewell for Konoha’s lost ones.  
" I’m so over everyone thinking that the dead are the ones in need of prayers right now". He sighed.  
She replied not withstanding her exasperation"Boy for a genius, you really are an idiot"  
"I have my beliefs." he retorded  
"I wasn’t what I meant. I didn’t come here for them. I just figured somebody had to welcome you to the Dead Dad club" she admitted.

He looked up to her, puffing smoke between his thin lips drawn into a weak smile. From the very beginning of their relationship, there had been tensions between the two ninjas. Although they had met at a young age and he wasn’t one to usually check out girls then, he remembered having been distracted by her long legs and short shorts. When their villages had come to fight side by side, he grew to appreciate her as an ally, later as a friend. She had something that the other girls in the village didn’t have : character. Of course, she could be also be troublesome as Ino and his mother, and sometimes as short-tempered as Sakura. But he viewed Temari as a different kind of girl because she got through him with her no-non-sense attitude and honesty.

\- So how long are you in town for ? he asked with a chuckle  
She smirked "As long as it requires for those in need" 

She took his cigarette from his hand, inhaled with her eyes closed and puffed the smoke between her curvy lips into one straight line. The smoke dispersed through the air but she still stared evasively at the world in front of her. Beauty wasn’t a concept he really believed in, he was never a shallow guy when it came to girls. In this very moment, Shikamaru thought she looked beautiful. His glance held up to her pink lips, the thought of how they felt travelled through his numb mind. 

 

After the funeral, Kakashi hopped in the different households of important families that had lost relatives. His advisors had to brief him on the different obligations that an Hokage had to live by. After the supper, he headed back to his office, where Tsunade and a handful of ANBU officials had decided to meet to discuss on a topic that he had dreaded for a few years : the fate of Uchiha Sasuke. 

\- Naruto will never accept this, Kakashi said calmly to Tsunade who was accompanied by Shizune  
\- Sasuke Uchiha is a fugitive, a criminal of war and a traitor. He was also a member of the Akatsuki. Kakashi I think if something the last war taught us is that we mustn’t underestimate threats, Tsunade said.  
She was calm and made very few yet relevant arguments in spite of the heated discussion they were engaged in. 

« We drew different lessons from what happened. If there’s anything I’ve learned from this war, I’ve learned it from Obito and that is to not give up on those who I once called my friends. Sasuke was my student, he is Naruto’s friend, Naruto’s brother and I believe the entire village knows how the second strongest kunoichi after you, that is, Sakura, feels about him » Kakashi retorted. He was losing his temper.

« Exile or death sentence is our only choice to see this village blossom after the war. The civilians are calling on the end of the ninja order because of the destruction that Madara caused. The people in this village are angry with the Uchiha clan and they don’t care for what the clan’s last survivor did during the war. »

« They should. If it weren’t for him, Madara would have prevailed ! »

« If it wasn’t for Naruto » Tsunade corrected.

« If it wasn't for him, Naruto wouldn’t have succeeded in his fight against Madara. »

« You were named Hokage at a very tricky period Kakashi. » Tsunade explained « Your decision on the fate of Uchiha Sasuke will determine your reign. »

« Like you, I believe that my role as a Hokage is to make the right decisions to prevent any force to threaten us again. Uchiha Sasuke is probably one of the strongest ninja of our time. Tell me how treating him as our enemy isn’t creating a recipe for disaster for the generations to come ? »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yosh ! Thank you for reading this chapter. I hadn’t planned on planting the whole « Team Seven reunion arc » on this one, but I figured it would be a perfect introduction for the Naru/Hina pairing. I’ll spoil and say it’s the pairing I plan on making canon first. Naruto is going to be a bit more mature than in the manga because I want to explore what the war’s aftermath did to his character (how does he go from 699 to being a Hokage in 700 basically). Hinata isn’t going to be as soft in the rest of this fic, but I needed her to be to spark some reaction in Naruto. He’s really angry with the world and she’ll be his bridge. As for Shikamaru and Temari, I plan their relationship to be the most complicated because they are my favorite OTP. Whereas the Sasu/Saku’s pairing’s challenge is going to have to accept the idea of a « together », the Shika/Tema is going to build a together on really fragile and dangerous foundations. Next chapter will focus a bit less on the pairings and set in more the plot of the fic. It’ll be up in a few days !


	3. A sense of belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke finds himself at the center of the new order discussions and Naruto has a hard time hiding his own frustration. Ino, who is now happy with Sai, wishes to see her friends moving forward.

Three weeks had passed since Kakashi’s meeting with Tsunade and the reduced governing committee. Unsurprisingly, the following discussions on the new order seemed inseparable from the fate of Sasuke Uchiha. Although he himself had a lot of resentment against his former student for his betrayal of the village and of his comrades, Kakashi’s encounter with Obito had somehow affected the way he apprehended any survivors of the Uchiha clan. This clan’s story had been an endless bloodshed although the other government consultants didn’t agree with him, he strongly believed it was the government’s responsibility to prevent the history to repeat itself. But as determined as he was to protect his student from any harm, he knew that it would be naive to think that his position as a Hokage alone would guarantee Sasuke’s safety.

Naruto’s head appeared in the door’s way of his office. 

« You wanted to see us sensei ? »

Kakashi sighed « You are going to have to get used to me being the Rokudaime Hokage »

« Baka » Sakura scolded him and made her way through the door by pushing her teammate. They chuckled a bit, it had been a long time since she’d used this nickname. 

« We need to talk about Sasuke, » Kakashi said. 

A silenced filled the room as soon as the former team seven member’s name was pronounced.

« How has he been ? I’ve heard that people had vandalized his apartment. » 

Naruto impulsively retorted, « He’s good really Sensei ! »

Sakura ? Kakashi sensei asked with a more serious tone

« It’s true that he has been doing fine in spite of everything. He’s still the same quiet person he was but he makes himself helpful at the hospital with Naruto and he’s been working on the reconstruction of the Uchiha’s quarters. As for the villagers, they haven’t been really welcoming but he seems okay with it. They’ll come around, it’s not something they haven’t dealt with before. »

« You mean with me ? » Naruto whispered while the pinkette bit her lip in remorse

\- Naruto, I… 

« No, it’s fine. I know very well how you and others saw me as before all of this. But get this Sakura-chan, you too sensei : I will not let Sasuke have to bare this weight on his shoulders. »

Kakashi sighed, « And that’s exactly why I had you two coming here. I’ve convinced the Council that the Leaf had some role to play in Sasuke’s fate and that it was time the village paid its due to the Uchiha clan. However I’m not too sure that they didn’t agree in keeping him under their supervision for the wrong purposes. »

« Sensei, what are you saying ? » Sakura asked

« He’s saying they don’t trust that Sasuke has changed, » Naruto said in an accusing tone. He stormed out of the office.

The young kunoichi muttered, « Shanaroo ». She was ready to go after him until Kakashi interrupted her. In a flash he stood between her and the door. She was reluctant to face him.

In an almost inaudible voice, she finally said, « Don’t ask me where I stand »

« Excuse me ? »

« Naruto is the impulsive kind. He’s always been this way. But you know better than anyone how long it took me to finally be able to speak up my mind, in a reasonable way. So don’t ask me where I stand, because right now, I don’t know what is right. »

« Sakura, that will never be the question, whether you find the answer or not. »

She tilted her head up and allowed him to see the vehemence in her green eyes.

« It is the question ! » she shouted. « From the day he left, it has been the question ! Whether I would choose the Leaf over him, my duty as a ninja or my life as a woman, my mind over my heart. I finally have what I’ve wanted for years and I don’t know what is right. »

 

She was out of breath. Her walls had broken and all the hurt she had prevent from showing since the war was over was finally taking over. Kakashi put a fatherly hand on top of the pinkette’s head. 

« Naruto left before I could finish. You don’t have to answer all these questions yourself Sakura, because somehow we’re all in the same wailing boat when it comes to Sasuke’s fate. Naruto is the impulsive kind, so he hasn’t given so much thought about it. As a Hokage I must put the village needs before my students. But I promise you that Sasuke won’t die or be imprisoned under my rule. I’ve learned that in times of war, the military is always more likely to stage a coup. »

She asked « Sensei, what are you saying ? »

« I’m saying that Sasuke Uchiha could be the war’s last victim and that you and Naruto have to protect him. »

« Why didn’t you say it before ? Why let Naruto get angry at you ? Why let me get to my breaking point ? »

« You both needed to let some things out. » 

She greeted him goodbye, but before she left, he added, « You are the balance between these two. Never forget that. »

 

Shikamaru was standing by the camp’s opening gates, nervously. Ino, with whom he had managed to make peace after endless apologies, was glaring at him trying not to be too obvious of her concern, until her indiscretion peaked his attention.

He moaned, « What ? »

« Are you hangover ? », she asked in a judgmental tone. 

He sighed, « Would it matter if I told you no ? »

« Shikamaru, it’s the third time this week that you get drunk this week. What’s gotten to you all of a sudden ? »

He grunted and pulled a cigarette from his pack. He was going to light it up but the kunoichi slapped the cigarette off of his mouth before he could get a chance. 

« Ino, what the hell ? »

« I could ask you the same question. Whatever bad shit you’re going through, this is not a solution, at all. »

« You don’t have to be troublesome about it okay. You have Sai to cope and I have my own ways. »

« I don’t think debauchery qualifies, » the kunoichi pointed out, « What happened to honoring our fathers’ memory »

Shikamary shrugged.

« Well I’m guessing it is a good thing she is coming back today, » Ino sighed. 

Shikamaru shrugged again, then realized his mistake. The mere fact that he hadn’t tried to ask Ino who she was referring to indicated clearly that they both knew she only meant to speak about the Suna kunoichi. About three days ago, he was told that Gaara had promoted her as Ambassador to Konoha. She would therefore be leading a team of supporting ninjas to participate in the discussions of a stronger alliance between the two villages. He had felt nervous ever since he’d known that she would be returning, for good this time and that there wouldn’t be either of her freak brothers to guard her like two very trustworthy watchdogs. It also made him nervous to see her in his current state. Each member of the team Ino Shika Cho had their own way of coping with the demise of their fathers. While Chouji was eating his sorrow away and Ino was falling in love with Sai’s cheap lines, Shikamaru was spending his time thinking of ways he could have prevented their fathers’ sacrifice. He would strategize the war all over again for hours, alone in his room, until he’d eventually have enough of his own incompetence and walk out of his house to get a drink at a shabby civilian bar, where he wouldn’t be told compliments about his genius he no longer felt like he deserved. 

 

« They’re here, » Ino announced when the sight of a ninja delegation finally became clear for both their eyes. 

Temari landed in front of them first. She wore a hood that was covering her hair and a cape that was hiding her body although Shikamaru could still distinguishing her body features. The rest of the ninjas came a few seconds later, panting. 

« And you call yourselves members of the guard ? » she barked at the dozen of men that accompanied her. 

Shikamaru chuckled, « You know they usually name people ambassadors after they’ve had a few decades to weaken their legs and to soothe their hard temper »

She coldly retorted « I had all the qualifications for the job Nara »

It wasn’t usual for her to call him by his last name. Shikamaru frowned and she noticed.Temari instantly blushed and looked at the men that accompanied her. They were still catching their breath and had been oblivious of the brief exchange of the two ninjas. While Ino led them to their quarters, Temari ignored most of Shikamaru’s lines but he could feel her worried glance on him from times to times. Despite the remains of alcohol in his system that made his brain function slower than usual, Temari’s awkwardness and hindrance did not escape him. Something about the Suna Ambassador was off, and he already hated himself for the growing urge of finding out why she acted so strange.

 

Naruto was wandering around the hallways of the hospital. He was desperately looking for one person, someone he could speak freely about the discussion he just had. In his heart, he was beginning to miss his father and the possible guidance that the former Hokage could have given his son.

« Naruto-kun ? » Hinata’s voice interrupted his daydreaming.

What are you doing here ? » he asked while making sure of where in the hospital his wandering had led him.

Sakura-chan has been giving me lessons. What are you doing here ? »

His expression saddened. He couldn’t possibly talk to the girl who loved him about another girl, especially since the two were becoming closer. He couldn’t possibly talk to the girl who had lost family members about his own frustrations. 

« Are you okay ? » she asked, stepping closer to him.

« I’m fine, » he lied before turning her back to her and getting ready to walk the opposite direction. « See you lat-»

Hinata had a surprising reaction. She grabbed his shoulders and forced him to face her, she was frowning but not of anger.

« You are not fine and I want you to tell me why. Stop thinking that I can’t handle it.»

Naruto could almost see his own bewilderment mirror into her glance. He sighed and answered with a weak smile to express his gratefulness. They sat on a vacant hospital bed nearby. 

« I don’t want you to think that I don’t know that the Leaf has suffered a great loss,» he started as she simply nodded as an indication to go on, « but Sasuke’s faith has become intrinsic to their new order discussions. It’s not fair for him and there is nothing I can do to help at this point. I’m not the Hokage. »

They both remained silence for a moment, until Hinata’s fingers went reaching for his hand. 

« Sasuke didn’t come back ignoring this possibility, » Hinata replied in a reassuring tone. « You need to show him that you care. Both you and Sakura should. The people in the village will come around. »

« Except it feels like she doesn’t,» Naruto exhaled. « I thought that she wanted him back as much as I did, but she has acted distant ever since we woke up. It’s like she doesn’t care of what happens to him. »

« You’re wrong if you think this way,» Hinata replied gravely. « Sakura has always cared for him deeply and perhaps always will. Maybe the new possibilities have her starting to want something else for herself. » Hinata explained. 

« But how can she ? Now that we finally have him back ?» Naruto asked his voice fueled with anger and hurt. 

However, there was something naive in his tone that made Hinata genuinely smile.

She replied evasively, « Sometimes, we spend a lot of time wishing for something until we finally get it and question why we even wanted it in the first place »

It felt to Naruto that this phrase had a greater meaning than the sole topic of this conversation. He grabbed her hand and looked at her inquisitively. 

« Why are you saying that ? »

She faked a smile and said, « No reason. I need to go check on my sister, but let me know if you want to talk some more. Don’t be too harsh on Sakura. I’m sure she’s hurting more than she’s leading on. Sasuke probably knows that. »

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then left the hallway in a light pace, leaving Naruto to wonder how he could have been stupid enough to not see her angelic presence for so many years.

 

Sasuke was finishing to pack his bag, the sun was about to set and he needed to leave just when it would start getting dark so as to be able to travel a bit through the night. He had spent the day cleaning up his apartment and ordering new locks to make sure that whoever had walked in and vandalized the place wouldn’t come back while he was gone. He was packing a bag of tomatoes for the road when he felt a presence in his living room.

« Going anywhere ? » Naruto asked behind him

« I had a feeling you would come by so I didn’t really bother trying to find you. »

He turned around and gave a mild smile to his best friend who was accompanied by their former professor.

« Going anywhere ? » Naruto repeated, getting slowly angry

« We know it’s for the best »

« No it’s not. We’re not losing you again over some punks that have no respect for what you did for them. »

« Naruto, » Kakashi interrupted

« I don’t blame them, » Sasuke replied calmly.

« Will you stop being so selfish ? » Naruto replied trying to get his friend to face him

« I’d be selfish if I’d stay here ! Don’t you get it ? The council will eventually find a way to find me guilty of something and I can’t put this kind of burden on Kakashi. Besides I have made myself a few enemies and the last thing I need is people running havoc on the village because of me. »

« The council has acknowledged your part in saving us all. You don’t have to leave just now. We can protect you if you’re here. I’m not sure that would be the case if you go abroad again. »

« This is your home Teme ! » Naruto added

« I will be back. I think Konoha will start believing that I’ve changed once the rest of the world does the same. »

With these last words, he patted his friend’s shoulder and grabbed his bag.

« She needs you here, you know, » Kakashi reluctantly said before his former student walked out of his apartment.

« I’m not so sure, » Sasuke replied, « but I will find out before I leave »

« Don’t go crazy on us Sasuke, » Kakashi simply retorted before the Uchiha disappeared into the night.

 

Sakura was taking a shower after the long day she had. She hadn’t felt so emotionally exhausted since after the conflict. Kakashi was right, she needed that long overdue face to face with her true feelings. She grabbed a towel and got off the steamy bathroom to find Sasuke, standing in the middle of the kunoichi’s bedroom, his eyes exploring every inch of the place, trying to grasp a sense of the young woman he was about to leave behind, again. 

« You could have knocked, » she scuffed. 

She noticed how taller than her had gotten, how stronger he stood, how more attractive he turned out to be. She also noticed that his eyes were running on her bare skin, pausing at her breasts, hips, face. Did he desire her ? 

« You’re blushing, » he noticed

« It must be from the hot bath, » she retorted suddenly when she realized that in her evasive state, she had stepped closer to him.

\- Hn.

« What do you want ? » she continued, while trying to awaken her self-confidence and self-esteem. The bag on his shoulder was the first thing she had noticed when she found him in her bedroom.

« I needed to know something. »

« What ? »

« I needed to know what would hurt you the most. »

Her heart jumped. 

« What are you talking about ? » 

« I think that my mission here is done. »

He had expected her to ask him another question but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeming curious about his plans. Sasuke was a man of a few words and she was done trying to be the one digging for the answers.

« I saved a village I once wanted to destroy, but there are other things I need to do before I can even think of coming back here to rebuild a clan or my life here. »

« So you’re leaving again, » Sakura assumed in a matter-of-factly tone.

Her walls were back up. He could not find a single trace of hurt on her face and she was standing strong.

« I need to see the world with a new vision and right my wrongs. Besides, I know that a part of you wants me gone. » 

« You’re right. So why are you even here if you had all of the answers ? » she retorted while placing her hands on her hips. 

He finally saw it, the pain she wouldn’t allow herself to show around him. He knew she was lying by the way she was trying to stand up to him.

« I’m sorry for everything I’ve done and what I’m about to do. »

« Well, that’s too bad Uchiha, because sorry isn’t enough for me anymore »

He smirked. There was something attractive in the way she furrowed her brow and attempted to resist him. Since when had she become so desirable ? When had she turned into this semi-goddess who seemed to have less patience to grant him ? He knew that she’d never admit that she wanted him here, not just yet. She needed space as much as the village did. He had finally found the answer he came looking for. She didn’t need him here at the moment. She didn’t need his presence haunting her every thought. Having him around her was more of a burden than it was a relief and they both needed to step a foot back from each other. He didn’t love her like he knew she once did, and it would have been a great mistake to pretend. But he still cared for her, even though she acted like she didn’t want that. He placed his thumb and index on her chin. She felt a chill down her spine at his touch. He reached for her forehead and delicately pressed his thin lips on to it. It was a light kiss but there bodies had never been this close, he had never been able to feel her body warmth or to be intoxicated by her perfume. She had never fathomed how warm his touch would actually feel and as she closed her eyes, Sakura felt herself carried by the whirlpool of butterflies that was dangerously attracting her towards his strong body. They both felt the magnetism of each other’s attractions, it was strong like the urge of jumping from the cliff of a bottomless pit. They both knew the risk but the fall was so tempting.

« Naruto is the reason I didn’t die, but you’re the reason that I’m alive » his whisper broke in the heaviness of the moment. 

He was about to turn away when she grabbed his wrist, forcing him to turn around.

« Will you be back ? » she asked in a voice that she worked hard on not making sound broken.

He breathed deeply as he saw that pearls had started rolling from her emerald eyes. He had promised that if he’d leave, he’d at least say goodbye to her without making her cry. She knew he’d be back, she just needed him to know that she’d wait for him. She needed him to know that people waited for him and cared for him. This question was pure rhetoric, it was her way of saying goodbye. It was also a way of telling him to stay out of trouble. This was Sakura Haruno’s undeclared confession that she still needed him. He instinctively pocked her forehead his index and middle fingers in the same place he planted a kiss a few seconds earlier. His movement had been so mechanical that he himself didn’t understand at first why he did it. 

« Thank you, » he whispered 

As soon as he left, Sakura fell to her knees. She had the answer. She wanted him back, not as a criminal, not as an avenger, she couldn't care less for the stranger he had become while being away. She knew deep down that she hadn’t grown out of love for him, her love had grown differently. It had grown into hope. The hope that one day, she may reunite with the boy that had left her on a bench that one night. 

Sasuke passed through the alley he had once used to exit the village a couple years ago, but it didn’t feel like déjà vu. This time was different because he knew there was someone he would return to. That’s what the forehead poke signified. It was his promise to himself that no matter what would await him on his journey to redemption that he would come back to the young woman who needed him. 

 

Shikamaru knocked at Temari’s door, hoping he wouldn’t find her in her PJs or that the kunoichi hadn’t fallen asleep yet. He had been drinking just enough to confront her about whatever she was hiding without looking like a complete drunk while doing so. 

« What do you want ? » she asked, defensively after she appeared in the door’s frame

« What is wrong with you ? » he asked in an aggressive tone

« Are you drunk ? »

« There’s something different about you. »

« Yeah, like the fact that I’m not a simple kunoichi now and you can’t wake me in the middle of the night with your drunken crap »

« Non-sense, you were never simple. And don’t give me that whole line of bullshit with your new diplomatic duties. Something is different about you. »

« I’m engaged. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First cliffhanger ! Thank you for reading this one. You got to explore a bit more of Shikamaru’s destructive way to mourn his father and Temari’s surprising news. I really wanted to focus on what his return did to both Sakura and Naruto, also hint a bit of the choices that await Kakashi in this fic. There wasn’t much of Sasuke and you shouldn’t expect much of him until Chapter 5 which will be entirely dedicated to what I imagined he did all this time while being away. As for Hinata and Naruto, I’m going to be honest and spoil that they’ll be paired up very soon. I like their dynamic much more as a couple actually, plus their story is very determinant to my plot for the other pairings. I am waiting to finish Chapter 6 before I publish Chapter 4 (I like to have 2 chapters already written)


	4. Four letter words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Sakura and Naruto try to cope the best they can with Sasuke’s absence, Temari returns to Konoha with unexpected news. A tragic event forces Naruto and Hinata to confront each other about their feelings.

Once again, Hinata woke up in the middle of the night, panting, gasping for an air she thought didn’t exist. Her sweaty palms met with the tears she had cried through her nightmare, only those tears were real. She stood up, making sure not to make any noise and went through the darkness of her bedroom, in the look for clothes to wear. Once she was dressed, she pushed her window open : The Hyuga quarters were heavily guarded but she knew her way around the complex to avoid getting caught sneaking out. She walked fast-paced through the silent streets of Konoha, a thunderstorm was coming and it slowly started drizzling. She had always hated the thunder and this weather reminded her a lot of her cousin. He was the only one in the family who knew about her fear of what she called « the sound of the sky breaking above us ». Even six months after his demise and the end of the war, Neji’s memories were still very strong and unforgettable. Sometimes, the kunoichi wished she didn’t have such a solid recollection of her cousin. The more she’d be reminded of him, the more she’d missed him, the more she’d hurt and wake up in the middle of the night like this one. 

Naruto heard a light knock and jumped from his bed, he already knew who would be standing behind the door. The first night that she had been wandering around the town for lack of a better thing to do while she was waiting for sleep to finally come, she’d stumbled upon him. He was himself sleep-deprived ever since Sasuke decided to leave the village again. The guilt was eating at him and preventing him from closing his eyes. She’d stayed with him that night until dusk. They sat for hours looking at the village in the night She’d woken up on his lap and he had greeted her with a big smile and a treat to breakfast. Over breakfast, he asked her why she’d been up and so she poured her heart out to him. At first, she felt guilty for sharing her trouble with someone who had already so many people to care for but he turned out to be a great listener. She told him about the new pressures that her family was suddenly putting on her. With Neji gone, she suddenly grasped all the responsibilities that would bestow upon her as the heiress of the Main House, one of them being to marry someone of her own clan. She hadn’t told Naruto, she didn’t find it in her to come back on the words she told him on the battlefield. She loved him but it wasn’t enough. It perhaps wouldn’t never be.

As he opened the door, he found her shaking from the cold.

« That bad ? » he asked while dragging her into his room and his arms. 

She bursted into tears, quietly weeping against his strong chest, her fists tugging on his T-shirt. He was holding her tighter and tighter. It didn’t matter if she might break in the process, he wanted her suffering to dissipate in their embrace. He wanted her to feel safe by his side. 

« I am so sorry Hina-chan, » he whispered into her ear 

Butterflies invaded her ribcage when this nickname fell into her hear and his lips brushed her skin. It was the first time he used it when she wasn’t half-asleep.

« It’s not your fault, » she stuttered between two sobs, « Neji himself was convinced that his fate was to serve my house »

« I can’t help but feeling helpless when it comes to your nightmares » he said while resting his chest on her head. She delicately pressed her lips against his bare neck. 

« You’re already helping a lot, Naruto-kun. »

« Don’t you think we grow a bit too close to use those polite forms ? » 

He spun them around slowly. She realized how impossible it would be to let him go. 

« I shouldn’t come to you like this all the time, » she muttered while escaping his arms reluctantly. She wiped her cheeks. 

« Even when I’m Hokage, I hope I’ll be the first person you come talk to about your troubles » he admitted while cupping her head into his hands. He was still adjusting to his prothetic arm but she had told him that it didn’t bother her at all.   
« I really shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be here, » she stuttered.

She apologized and escaped into the night. To Naruto, it felt like her visit was just a dream. 

 

It had been a couple of months since Temari announced her engagement to a rich lord from a county near Suna but Shikamaru still wasn’t over it. He had nothing her fiancee had to offer her, but it upset him that the kunoichi he had grown to appreciate was acting so out of character. It felt like she was betraying herself and he did not want to witness it. He’d only see her when his duty requested it. Because of her new duties as an Ambassador, he’d seen a lot of the woman but worked his best to ignore her royally. During meetings, their interactions were short and distant and outside of their work hours, he would avoid any restaurants or public venues where she might have been. Although he managed to reduce his drinking, he still spent a lot of time alone and isolated from the others. The team Ino-Shika-Cho hadn’t reunited for about two weeks now. 

After another meeting, Ino noticed how eager Shikamaru was to exit the room. He almost ran off when they were still packing up their things. Ino turned to Temari who was taking her time and looking evasively at the papers laid before her.

« What is going on » the Konoha kunoichi asked.

« What do you mean ? » Temari replied 

« You and Shikamaru. There’s tension and I can feel it » Ino replied in a matter-of-factly tone.

« I don’t see what you’re talking about »

« Cut the crap. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t bother. I was really expecting you to be the one who’d get him out of the dark place he’s in right now, but you seem so self-absorbed I’m not sure you even noticed how much he’s hurting. »

 

Shikamaru was walking towards his house where he had stayed for years and where his dad and him had so many memories. He sighed at the sight of the time. His mom would scold him for getting home so late now that the clan was relying on him. « How annoying », he thought before pulling a flask from his jacket’s pocket. He was nonchalantly walking, casually sipping the liquor from his flask, until a large explosion broke the silence and had him jumping to his guard. He turned around to the horrific sight of the building where all the diplomatic meetings would take place on fire, with an aisle that seemed completely destroyed. 

« Temari ! » he shouted while rushing back to where he had left earlier. 

By the time he got there, everyone was already on alert. When they saw him arriving they all turned to him, like the clue to beat the fire was written on his forehead. The fire wasn’t caused by the explosion, he figured. It was a very powerful Katon jutsu that ignited the flames and the only way to contain it would be to catch whoever had triggered the attack in the first place. 

« Shikamaru ! » Ino called him

« Where is she ? » he asked, trying to contain his panic

« Shikamaru » Naruto called, « I’m going in, what’s the plan ? »

« We don’t have time for a plan now, the Ambassador of Suna is inside with a few of her peers. We don’t   
have time to think. Get in and get as many people out as you can. »

« She was right behind me, I’m sorry, » Ino said 

« Don’t apologize for a crime you haven’t committed, instead, find me who’s responsible for this mess. Get Kiba, Chouji and Sai with you. Naruto, let’s go ! »

The room he had left earlier was on fire and almost impossible to breathe in. The fire was eating at every furniture and he could hardly see amidst the dark smoke. 

« Temari ? » he called but no one answered.

He shifted around a few debris, called again but in vain. His heart was racing faster than he would have ever ran. His mind couldn’t think straight, he had never felt like his body had a life of its own until this very moment. He heard a soft cry. He dived under a table, trying to avoid a wall’s collapsing and found her, folded onto herself like a miserable and fragile porcelain doll. 

« Hey » he said, while trying to reach her 

She moved his hand away and started balancing herself like she was mentally breaking down. Slowly elements into his mind came into display. She had chosen to be an Ambassador although she despised politics. She had chosen to get married although most of the women in Suna once married could no longer be kunoichi. She had tried to get closer to the other girls. And all of this, since the war was over. She was panting, trembling, crying and sprouting non-sense that Shikamaru couldn’t even comprehend. Shikamaru had no interest in most of the medicine classes he had to take to pass his Junin examination but he remembered something about anxiety and how it could trigger panic attacks. Sadly for him, he had no memory on how to calm someone suffering from those attacks. For once in his life, Shikamaru had no plans, he had to act on his instincts. 

« Temari, look at me » he said while approaching her. He tried his best to avoid any physical contact that could have upset her more.

« Can’t breathe » she articulated 

« That’s because you probably have smoke in your lungs baby. Look at me, breathe with me. » 

He mimicked short intake and exhales for her to gain a normal breathing rhythm without taking in to much of the toxic smoke. Such a breathing exercise also had another purpose, he wanted her to be put to sleep. After hyperventilating, the lack of oxygen slowly caused her to faint in his arms. He grabbed her on his back because of the small space under the table he couldn’t have carried her otherwise. 

Outside, the entire staff had been saved by Naruto and Kakashi. Ino and her team had caught two nukenin trying to escape the village and had delivered them to the ANBU. They were all glaring at the burning building which was ready to collapse. 

« Shikamaru is still in there, » Ino cried

« He will be fine, » Chouji said, trying to contain his friend before the kunoichi actually rushed inside the flaming building

« How can you be so sure ? He’s in there and we’re in here ! Shikamaru ! » she yelled again. Tears started running down her cheeks

« That’s it , I’m going back in, » Naruto shouted

« Don’t be ridiculous, Naruto, the building is about to collapse ! » Sakura interposed herself between him and the building

« Then have somebody use a suiton justu while I get back in there to get Shikamaru and Temari. »

« We don’t know it that’ll work ! » Sakura shouted at him « Don’t be stupid, I can’t take the risk of losing you ! »

« I’ll do it » a voice behind them rose

Hinata had been assisting Sakura with the injured staff and witnessed the argument between the two ninjas. 

« Great » Naruto smiled with determination. He was about to rush back in but as he looked back to Hinata, he noticed her worried look. 

« I’ll be right back » he said, seeing the worry in her eyes

« Promise me ? »

« You know my nindo » he smirked, before winking at her. 

Hinata executed herself and performed a suiton jutsu, assisted with a few members of her clan who had come. Water snakes escaped their hands and started eating at the fire, but as Sakura had predicted, it wasn’t enough : the fire was too strong even if the ANBU members were already busy torturing the two terrorists, a real fire had replaced the jutsu and it was too advanced. 

« Sakura » Hinata’s voice was trembling

« Naruto never comes back on his- » the kunoichi’s answer was interrupted by the sound of the building that was collapsing from its foundation. Brown smoke was escaping the edifice and debris started falling upon them.

« Everybody fallback » Kakashi ordered. 

In the midst of the debris falling onto them, three figures were jumping down towards them, however due to the smoke it was impossible to tell whether they had willingly jumped or if the explosion had propelled them out of the building. Sakura and Hinata waited for the smoke to dissipate before rushing towards where the building once stood. They found Naruto a few meters apart from Shikamaru who was holding an unconscious Temari. 

« Get Naruto » Sakura ordered to the Hyuga. 

Hinata silently agreed and rushed toward the blond ninja who was wincing of pain. 

She could tell he would have a hard time talking but he still spoke out as she was examining his wounds « I told you I’d be back » 

« I never doubted that » she lied, unable to hide the worry in her voice

« Hey, I’m here » he said, grabbing her hand and placing it on his cheek. 

« Naruto, I-.. » she started saying but he placed a finger on her lips to quiet her. 

He lifted himself up and planted a kiss on her lips. She was reluctant at first, because she knew she shouldn’t love him but his warmth was too welcoming for letting go. As she kissed him, she forgot about her duties, her clan or the hurt that Neji’s demise left her with. All that matter was the feeling of belonging. She was his and he was hers. 

« I’ll always make it back to you » he finally said after they had separated to catch their breath. 

 

A few meters away, Shikamaru was hugging an unconscious Temari, begging for her to wake up. 

« Let me examine her Shikamaru » Sakura slowly said to him

The young man didn’t move. Instead, he glanced vacantly at the inanimate corps that laid on his laps, caressing her hair.

« Shikamaru, snap out of it ! » Sakura shouted «  She’s alive, you saved her. Now move before this accomplishment is no longer relevant. »

The words resonated in his mind. He’d saved her. He hadn’t failed her, unlike he felt what he did with his dad or Asuma or Konoha’s entire population during the conflict. 

« Take care of her for me, » he begged while slowly sliding back up for Sakura to operate onto Temari on the ground. 

He headed straight to the ANBU quarters, where the two suspects were being interrogated. All the adrenaline from his rescue was still boiling in him. 

« Hey, you have no business being here. » a guard called out.

« Those two bastards almost killed me if I had left the building a few minutes later, I have every business being here ! »

« They were not targeting you. They were targeting the Ambassador. » he explained

« What ? » 

« That’s all we got from interrogating them, » the man continued while pointing a door where, clearly, the interrogation was ongoing. 

« Perhaps you haven’t been persuading  enough, » Shikamaru groaned. 

He slammed the door open, and within a few seconds was close to make the two nukenin suffocate by having taking control of their shadow

« Shikamaru-san, stop, you’re going to kill them. »

« Nothing stopped them from their mission, why should I. They attacked the Leaf, they are enemies. If there’s anything we learned from this war is that no enemy should be left alive » 

He turned back to the two nukenins, suffocating and almost out of breath. 

« Who sent you ? » Shikamaru yelled, his eyes filled with rage

Sasuke Uchiha, one of them finally whispered

As the name fell into his ears, Shikamaru dropped his jutsu and took a step back, consternated. It was impossible. Ino had told him that Sakura was sure that Sasuke left with good intentions of coming back to settle down, why would he be jeopardizing his chances with the village by threatening the alliance between Konoha and Suna. What is this fool up to ? he asked himself

He left the room almost immediately after his part of the interrogation was over and stormed back to the site where the building had exploded. The site was empty, only a few casualties remained and were getting their wounds mended by medic-nins he had never seen before. 

« As anybody seen Sakura-san ? » he asked out loud

« She’s in the hospital, watching over the Ambassador. »

Shikamaru rushed into her room. Temari laid unconscious, with a mask gas on her face. Sakura was sitting by her bed, closely observing the monitor like she could interpret the frequencies and the beeping sounds it made. 

« How is she ? » Shikamaru asked. 

«  She’ll be fine. All the toxicity from her lungs have been extracted, the marks on her body are just a few bruises»

« When will she wake up ? »

« When she feels safe enough to do so, she woke up in a great state of panic. »

« I think she’s suffering from PTSD »

« We all do, » Sakura said, pointing her fingers at Shikamaru’s hands, which were vividly shaking although he hadn’t realized it. « How long have you been drinking Shikamaru ? »

He didn’t reply, instead he approached Temari and brushed off a lock of hair on her forehead. It was the first time he saw her without hair dressed in ponytails. He was well aware that Sakura was observing him. 

« War left wounds in all of us Shikamaru. Making peace isn’t simply about rebuilding the world and inventing a new order. It’s also about helping each other accepting our scars. » 

« You’re wrong. » he retorted 

« Excuse me ? »

« You’re wrong if you think this applies to you and Sasuke. »

« How dare you ? You don’t know anything my team had to go through ! » 

« How long has he be gone ? » he questioned, « Six months or more ? »

« How is that any relevant right now ? You’re the one with the drinking problem ! » Sakura was shouting

« And you’re the one in denial. He was behind the attack Sakura ! He ordered the nukenin to bomb the establishment where Temari would be in to ruin our alliance with Suna. » Shikamaru shouted back 

Sakura looked disgusted, she wasn’t buying it. 

« It’s impossible. » she interjected

«  I’ve stopped believing in the impossible with this guy. Be careful not to be too accepting Sakura. It may cost you your life someday. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you for reading this new input. Don’t hesitate to review/comment. There’s a bit less of character development in this chapter because I needed the plot to keep moving without Sasuke being here. Sakura and Naruto are a bit at odds, thus their very brief interaction. I’m probably going to use Sakura a lot in the Naru/Hina pairing, the same way Ino was used here to push the Shika/Tema (don’t worry those two will need a bit more pushing). I’ll take you guys out of Konoha for a while to focus a bit on the Uchiha’s shenanigans. Return of Konoha on Chapter 6.


	5. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke visits a place he remembers bringing turmoil to with the former Team Ebi. He is greatly injured from a previous fight with a mercenary and is welcomed by a family, unknowingly that he's the one responsible for their fate.

Sasuke was wincing from his chest wounds. He had been through enough battles to know that he was suffering from internal bleeding. He was coughing blood and had to slow down his pace. Lights from civilization appeared a few meters away but he wasn’t sure he would make it. He was walking in a cape that seemed heavier than usual. He collapsed on the floor past the entrance of the city he had just entered. It was brought day light and some kids were playing in the streets.

« Are you okay sir ? » a little boy asked

He had brown hair and was wearing a green T-shirt. Sasuke looked up to him, he was sweating and panting. 

« My mom is a nurse, maybe she can help. »  
« That would be very nice of you »

The little boy called for his friends to help him up and grab his bag.   
Are you a ninja sir ? »  
Sasuke didn’t reply, he was too focused on not coughing more blood and scare away the kids by accidentally activating his sharingan. He hadn’t been able to read the sign of the village he’d enter in and it would have been a stupid assumption to think that he’d be welcome here. The Rain country was one in which he’d particularly wreaked havoc with his Team Ebi. There was a high probability that this wasn’t his first time here. 

« No, kid. I’m just a guy having a bad day, » he finally said. 

They entered a small house nearby. The kid called for his mom while Sasuke painfully stumbled to a chair in the kitchen. A woman came rushing. She wore her brown hair in a bun and a green apron over her white dress. Sasuke noticed how thin her figure was and how poorly furnished the house was. The Rain country was known for its low GDP and this village was a good representation of it. 

« Sena, you will clean the floor and get rid of the blood while I take care of our guest. »

The little boy executed himself and came back in a blink of an eye with a mop. His mother turned to Sasuke and asked him to lay on the table. 

« No offense lady, but this table may not resist my weight. »

« I’m the one who built it, believe me I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t sure it could take you. » the woman answered with pride and guided him to the table.

Sasuke stood up, he felt weak from all the lost blood. As he sat on the table, the woman helped him undress from his shirt. She gasped at the sight of his wounds.

« The good news is that who ever did this to you wanted you to suffer but not to die. If that’s even a good news » she declared after observing his wounds closely, « Your organs are miraculously intact. I’ll just need to close you up and you’ll need to rest for sometime. »

« How long ? » 

« Probably a month or so. I don’t have magic fingers. »

« You’re very kind. » 

While she operated, he tried the best he could to not make any noise but her clumsiness was almost causing him more pain than he was already in. Sakura’s healing skills felt royal compared to this civilian nurse, but her hospitality was more than he could already ask for. If it wasn’t for her, the wounds inflicted by the Rikodou mercenaries would have been fatal, no matter what she said about them not wanting him dead. It had been a month or so since he’d left Konoha on his road to redemption and he was finally able to contemplate the extent of his previous wrongs. While some villagers were clement and had simply asked for his help in labour, others had asked for his assassinating skills against local bandits but he had ran into people who simply wanted to get even. 

A few long hours later, the nurse swap her forehead and announced that she was done with him. Sasuke stood up mildly to look at his chest. The scars she designed would leave heavy marks on his skin but he still smiled at her gratefully. She guided him to a small guest room where he could rest for some time and returned to the kitchen to fix the dinner. 

Sasuke stared at the ceiling for sometime, thinking of his next move. He still ignored his location and what history he had with this village. His fingers were touching up the scars left by his previous combat and his mind lingered to where it got used to go when he needed to remember the feeling of a home. Even three months after their last interaction, Sakura’s scent was still imprinted in his memory. It tasted sweet and warm. He sighed loudly at the thought that he would have to stay here longer than expected. While exiting the village, he hadn’t really planned his journey but this misfortune would force him to postpone his return. 

The boy stormed in his room, unannounced « Mom says food is ready, if you’re hungry. »

They were sitting at the very table she operated him on, only it was covered with a thin fabric. Sasuke was working hard on not wincing every time he was swallowing the soup his host cooked, it was too salty for his taste. The little boy was observing his every move, both in awe and in suspicion. 

«  Sena, what have I told you about that nosey glance of yours ? » his mom scolded him

« It’s okay, » Sasuke smiled mildly. « I believe you both have a lot of questions. »

Before the mother could open her mouth, Sena pointed his finger at Sasuke. « Who are you ? What brings you here ? Who did this to you ? Are they still after you ? Will you teach me how to spare ? »

« Sena ! » his mother scolded before turning to Sasuke and apologizing.

Sasuke nodded, implying that the boy’s indiscretion hadn’t troubled him. 

« I’m Sasuke, I hadn’t really planned on coming here. To be honest, I don’t even know where « here » is, I’m not from around. The men who did this to me were angry at me and no, they are no longer after me. I’ll teach you a few tricks if your mom allows it. But you saw how badly I got beat up kid, you shouldn’t expect too much from my teaching. »

« Our village is called Tukosomi. We’re not far from the border of the Rain country. And I’d much prefer if you didn’t teach my son how to fight. My name is Mohuri. »

« Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll try to heal as quick as I can to not trouble you. »

Two weeks passed and Sasuke’s recovery was slower than he’d expected. Since Mohuri’s healing didn’t use chakra, he had to heal like a regular civilian. To pay back for her hospitality, he’d offer his services to Mohuri and helped her in fixing parts of their small house. He could tell that the little boy had grown to like him and was enjoying a man’s company. One night, after dinner, Sasuke and Mohuri were enjoying a soju drink after she’d put her son to bed, he finally worked up the courage of asking her the boy’s father’s whereabouts. 

« About two years ago, mercenaries were looting villages on the border. My husband and many other men of Tukosomi were tired of having to wait on ninjas to come and protect us. They went after the mercenaries and soon after, the mercenaries came finding us. They were actually deserted ninjas. I heard most of them died in the war. I never got to bury my husband. »

Sasuke put a friendly hand on Mohuri. He knew exactly what happened to her husband’s corpse, along with the corpses of all the men of this village that were brave enough to try to confront Team Ebi.

« I am so sorry. » he apologized 

That night, Sasuke couldn’t find sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he was brought back on the bridge were villagers sought to stop the advances of his team. He thought of how that night, he probably killed over fifty men and made fifty women widows and the same amount or more of kids fatherless. The idea of going back to places where his team had brought destruction upon was meant for him to find redemption. However he suddenly felt an insurmountable amount of guilt. He covered his face with his hands, thinking of the amount of lives these very hands destroyed. He wondered how many kids like Sena had cried their father like he once cried his own parents. Could he ever obtain the forgiveness of those people ? Would this forgiveness be enough for him to move on with his life and finally return home ? The prospect of starting a new life in Konoha seemed impossible now that he was able to contemplate the extent of his wrongs. 

Another week passed and his health wasn’t getting any better but he no longer cared. The news of what had come of Sena’s father was motivating enough for him to teach the little boy how to spare. He taught him how throw knife -it wasn’t much different from throwing a regular kunai and how to throw a good punch. One night after he had spend his day fixing the house’s roof, Sasuke heard a loud scream coming from Sena’s bedroom. He rushed in the kitchen then upstairs only to find a crying Mohuri on her son’s bed. The bed was empty and the window was left wide open.

Sasuke hid his kunai and approached Mohuri.

« What happened ? »

« They took him, » she cried

« Who’s they ? »

She sobbed harder and Sasuke opened his arms to her. If Sena had been abducted, it wouldn’t take him long to get to the bottom of it. He left Mohuri to rest on her son’s bed and rushed back downstairs to his room where he wore a T-shirt and his vest, which he armed with a set of kunai and shrunken. He took out his katana from under the bed. 

He jumped on the roof facing Sena’s window and found traces of muddy footsteps. His scars started to bleed again and he suddenly felt feverish and dizzy. He ignored the pain and went on jumping from roof to roof, following the footsteps of Sena’s abductors. He soon caught up on a hooded man who was holding Sena on his back. Sasuke launched a shuriken towards the man to make him stop. The man turned around and took of his hood, Sasuke got closer and stumbled as he recognized the orange hair and the massive figure that stood in front of him.

« You! » 

« Long time no see, Sasuke » Juugo smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay ! I was determined to publish this (rather short) chapter but then I got home (Paris) and some lunatics decided to attack my country. Anyways, I'm back now ! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll publish weekly from now on.


	6. The end of Team Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temari awakens from her coma to a surprise. Sakura finds herself in front of the ultimate choice. Naruto confronts Shikamaru about his attitude.

Gaara walked in his sister’s room, followed by his older brother. He found the kunoichi asleep, as predicted, but she already had a visitor. They had travelled as soon as the news of the attack had reached Suna and it was too early for regular visits. But Shikamaru was there, sound asleep, with his head resting on by the kunoichi’s lap, holding her hands. 

« Wake up, » Kankuro shouted  
Shikamaru snored deeper, until his body moved and began stretching. He yawned and finally opened his eyes.  
« Well it’s about time you two showed up, » he muttered  
« Get away from her, » Kankuro shouted while pushing Shikamaru’s chair  
« I’m guessing that’s a thank you for saving my sister life and looking after her in your douchebag language. »

Although the war was over, Shikamaru still couldn’t stand the oldest member of the Sand siblings team. He found him arrogant, ungrateful and extremely protective of his little sister  
« Pardon my brother, he doesn’t know how to speak his mind when he’s concerned, » Gaara said in an apologetical tone  
« It’s okay, I was just waiting for you guys to show up anyways. She’s been drifting in and out of consciousness mostly and my presence is much needed at the Council. »

 

Shikamaru left the hospital and headed straight to the Hokage quarters. He didn’t know what the arrival of Kankuro and Gaara would mean for him and Temari. He was able to visit her as often as he wanted and often came in, inebriated. He would talk to her for hours without her knowing. Most of the time, he would just sit next to her, tell her about his day, beg her to wake up, and tell her how useless he felt. 

He found Naruto in Kakashi’s office. 

« He didn’t do it ! » Naruto shouted, ignoring Shikamaru’s presence

« Naruto, enough ! » Kakashi shouted back. The Hokage turned to Shikamaru « I head that Gaara was here. »

« He is, he’s just visiting Temari for a while. »

« She still hasn’t woken up ? It’s been two weeks. What does Sakura say ? »

« She says its a matter of willingness. Temari will wake up when she feels safe again. » Shikamaru sighed leaning against the wall.

« No disrespect, » Naruto interrupted, putting both hands on Kakashi’s desk, his back turned to Shikamaru, «  but we have a more pressing matter in our hands. Sensei, you need to cancel the ANBU mission. »

« What are you talking about ? » Shikamaru inquired

« I’m talking about the ANBU mission that has been decided to go looking for Sasuke, thanks to your little  
interrogation everyone thinks he is guilty of the attack » Naruto replied, still looking vehemently at Kakashi

« Well of course he’s guilty. »

Naruto turned around and charged Shikamaru, reaching for his vest.

« He didn’t do it ! If the ANBU goes after him, they will try to kill him and it won’t turn pretty. I thought you were supposed to be smart. »

« And I thought you wanted to Hokage someday. Stop being so childish Naruto ! » Shikamaru said, defensively pushing his friend away

« Sakura told me about your little problem. I didn’t want to believe it but now I can feel it. What’s gotten into you man ? »

« Maybe Sakura should mind her own business. » Shikamaru mumbled

« And maybe you should stop feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe you should stop drinking and then maybe you’ll be able to think straight. » 

Shikamaru was ready to punch him, but Kakashi intervened on time, he separated both ninjas.

« Knock it off ! » he shouted, « Shikamaru, if Naruto’s accusations are true, I need you to get to the hospital right away. You’re of no use if you’re not in your right mind. »

Shikamaru left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him. Kakashi let go of Naruto and walked back behind his office. 

« Naruto, I understand your frustration but what Shikamaru said was right. You can’t expect to be Hokage someday with this attitude. No one understands more than me your position with Sasuke but my hands are tied. The ANBU is an independent branch of government. »

« I’m sorry I snapped like that. But I can’t take it anymore. Sasuke is supposed to be on his road to redemption, I don’t want him to lose his temper and give Konoha a good reason to want him dead. »

« Sasuke has a better temper than you in this department. »

 

Sakura walked in Temari’s room, hoping to find Shikamaru but instead was surprise to find the kunoichi awake and smiling in the company of her brothers. Sakura greeted them and began checking the kunoichi’s vitals and unplugged the monitor when her examination was over.

« It looks like you are good to go. If I’d known your brothers were all you needed to wake up, I would’ve personally used a Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and impersonated one of them. »

Temari smiled. She looked weak but her face was marked with gratefulness towards the kunoichi who’d taken care of her while she was in her coma. 

« Shikamaru did most of the monitoring » Sakura said, like she replied to the silent blessing of the Suna Ambassador.

Kankuro winced at the idea that he would have to thank the Nara ninja for taking care of his sister. Sakura’s pager biped, Tsunade’s name appeared.

« I’m sorry, something came up, » she said, « Don’t be too hard on yourself just now. Your body is going to be sore, you’ll need to hydrate yourself. I’ll make sure to send a nurse to discharge you. »

Sakura knocked at the door of Tsunade’s office. Tsunade’s voice melodiously replied, allowing her to come in.

« Ha, Sakura » 

« You asked for me ? »

« Yes, sit down » the woman invited her in. 

 

Sakura cleared her throat and sat down. 

I thought you should know that Temari No Sobaku has awaken. »  
That’s good but she’s not the reason I had you coming here, » Tsunade said before placing a heavy file in front of Sakura. « You’ve been my student for several years now Sakura, I doubt there is much techniques you can learn from me now. So I’ve got a suggestion for you. »

« I’m listening. »

« There is an amazing medical conference organized in Ame in the following week. My hands are full here. I’d like to send you as my representative and take a delegation with you. »

« But who will monitor patients here at the hospital if I’m gone ? » Sakura asked. She paused, then added  
« I’m not sure I can just leave right now. Naruto needs me here and so does Ino. »

« And you wonder what would happen if Sasuke comes back and you’re not here » Tsunade completed

Sakura bended her head. She was avoiding the subject of Sasuke with most people ever since the word got out that he was certainly behind the attack. More importantly, she was ashamed that her mentor saw easily through the reason why she would even let down such opportunity.

« I don’t have it in me to just give up on him, » Sakura admitted.

« I’ll let you think of my proposition for some time Sakura, but don’t give up on yourself. That’s what a woman’s choice is about most of the time. »

Sakura smiled and left the room quietly. 

It was almost noon and she was to meet with Naruto and Hinata for lunch. Lately, her friend’s girlfriend had become the bridge between them. She insisted that both these two strong characters let go of their own grievance and worked together in surviving the stress of Sasuke’s absence and the accusations. 

« Over here Saku-chan » Hinata greeted her when she saw the kunoichi enter Naruto’s favorite ramen restaurant. 

As she sat, she could see that Naruto was forcing the reluctance in him to remain hidden. He was making a very poor attempt. She nodded at him, coldly. She smiled however at the sight of their fingers entangled. Naruto and Hinata were finally out as a couple and she had been dying to let Naruto talk to her about it, to come to her about his girlfriend’s troubles, but ever since their fight at Kakashi’s office on the day Sasuke left, it felt like a wall was standing between them. They were still at war in their minds and hearts. 

« Tsunade offered me with a mission » Sakura said once they placed their orders

« Great ! » Hinata responded ecstatically to mask Naruto’s silent.

« She wants me to attend a medic-nin conference in Ame, it will take me a week or so to reach. I should be back in less than a month, that is : if I chose to go ». She ended the sentence on insinsting on the last few words. She was attempting to spark a reaction from Naruto, but he remained quiet and oblivious of the fact that she was seeking for her approval.

« Naruto » Hinata called

« What ? I think that’s great. She should go. »

« You know what ? », Sakura spat. « I’m getting tired of you being so jumpy all the time. Ever since the war ended you’ve been using me as a target practice for your frustrations. Well guess what ? I am scared too. I miss him too. I still love him too, and this isn’t just some brotherly love. So how about you stop giving me shit for it. I don’t have what you have okay ? All I have is myself, so excuse me while I deal with what I can count on. » 

She was careful not to scream, but each word carried the intensity of her anger. Hinata remained quiet, she knew better than intervening and interrupting Sakura’s scolding which was long overdue. 

« Don’t you think you owe her an apology ? » Hinata added, while staring insistently at her lover. 

 

Naruto sighed. Sakura’s glance was filled with tears and he couldn’t bare to see her like this. Sasuke used to be the one who made her cry, until he decided to fill in for the position. He delicately took her hand and brushed her cold skin. It wasn’t Naruto’s habit to feel remorse, but as he saw his best friend finally delivering the tears that her eyes were carrying, he found himself submerged by the guilt. 

« I am so sorry Sakura. I never meant to hurt you, nor anyone. I just feel like I’m the only one who cares that Sasuke is out there alone and that the world is silently plotting his own death. After the war, you felt distant and I didn’t want to understand why. I didn't realize that both Sasuke and I turned our backs to you, him when he chose to go on his own and me when I chose Hinata. » 

« It’s not about that. You big idiot. », she whipped her tears and grabbed her best friend and his lover by both hands. « I am truly happy that you have found Hinata. And I’m sure her father will eventually let go of his reluctance and agree to your relationship. I just need for you to let go of the idea of the original team seven. It’s obvious that it was never going to be like before. We’ve been so distracted by our search for Sasuke that we didn’t realize how much time has passed. We’re not kids anymore Naruto. » 

Over the course of their lunch, she almost wanted to review her last sentence as she observed Naruto’s face lit up when his order was served. He looked just the same as he did when they were having lunch or dinner at Ichiraku’s after training or upon returning from a mission. Still, something was different about her, about him, about them. A war had happened. They had lost loved ones. They were still hoping for one to return. Loss and hope were two causes of aging. There weren’t no medical evidence of it, but she somehow knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the guilt of not being able to publish for two weeks so I decided to get to it and give you two chapters at once. I needed Naruto and Sakura to make peace with each other for what is about to come next (hint : The end of chapter 7 will focus on Team Seven's reunion). This reconciliation allowed me to put an emphasis of the NaruHina relationship, and a brief mention to the main obstacle for the (ie : her clan) I also needed Shikamaru to be shaken up by one of his friends and Kakashi before I can work on my ShikaTema arc. More to come next weekend !!!


End file.
